Category: The Kids Can Be Okay | Tags: | 2012.06.10

Dr. Carla LeHouillier, R. Psych.
Wishing Star Associate

Today there is so much pressure on kids and teachers alike. And in the face of these pressures things in the classroom appear to have veered off course. With the mounting pressure has come mounting frustration and one of the manifestations of this has been that the children I work with feel increasingly unsupported by their teachers at school. When they’re struggling with grasping the academic lessons, being teased or bullied by other students, or feeling anxious about an upcoming test, they are not feeling cared for and protected by their teachers. When encountering challenges in the classroom, many students are feeling alone or are encouraged to solve these issues independently, when being dependent on teachers in childhood is exactly what is, and should be more often, considered developmentally appropriate. After all, these are the adults that parents are trusting to look after their children for at least half their waking hours each weekday. Dr. Gordon Neufeld, psychologist and author, often discusses the importance of teachers as the ‘big people’ that must lead children in the classroom, becoming their primary attachments during the school day. He asserts that teachers need to take the responsibility of meeting their students’ attachment needs, rather than waiting for children to initiate those relationship-building connections. Teachers can connect with each student as they enter the classroom each morning, check in with them in a nurturing way during seatwork, and comment frequently on those students’ positive qualities and strengths, rather than waiting for the children in their classroom to make contact or requiring students to initiate the need for assistance. If we put children in charge of meeting these attachment needs, they will always be insecure and preoccupied with ensuring those needs are being met. If this responsibility shifts to teachers, children will relax and growth and learning can occur. Remember that teachers need to remember to extend patience, kindness, and understanding to their students, focusing on the relationship and connection with their students, instead of their frustrations with misbehavior.

This blog posting is not a form of psychological counselling, advice, therapy, or assessment and should not be used as such by any individual. This blog posting is provided only as an article intended to encourage thought and discourse. For specific psychology related services, please contact an appropriate healthcare provider.